Avenue Q is an "autobiographical and biographical" coming-of-age parable, addressing and satirizing the issues and anxieties associated with entering adulthood. Its characters lament that as children, they were assured by their parents, and by children's television programs such as PBS's Sesame Street, that they were "special" and "could do anything"; but as adults, they have discovered to their surprise and dismay that in the real world their options are limited, and they are no more "special" than anyone else.
Acte I
Princeton, a recent college graduate, is anxious to discover his purpose in life; but first, he must find an apartment and a job, with no work experience and an English degree. What Do You Do with a B.A. in English? Beginning at Avenue A, he finally finds an affordable apartment on Avenue Q. His new neighbors are Kate Monster, a kindergarten teaching assistant; Rod, an anal-retentive Republican banker, and Nicky, his slacker roommate; Brian, an aspiring comedian recently laid off from his day job; Christmas Eve, Brian's Asian fiancée and a therapist with no clients; Trekkie Monster, a surly recluse who surfs the Internet all day in search of porn; and Gary Coleman, the building superintendent. Arguments ensue over whose life sucks the most. It Sucks to Be Me
Nicky, who is straight, suspects that Rod is gay, and assures Rod it is okay with him if he is; but Rod insists he is not. If You Were Gay
Princeton finds a lucky penny and starts searching for his purpose in life Purpose. Kate dreams of starting a "Monstersori" school for young "people of fur." Princeton innocently asks Kate if she and Trekkie are related, since they are both monsters. Kate says that assumption is racist. Princeton, taken aback, counters that Kate's Monstersori School would discriminate against non-monsters. They and the neighbors agree that racism is an adult reality. (“Everyone's a Little Bit Racist”)
Princeton receives money from his parents, and the Bad Idea Bears, two charming troublemakers, convince him to spend it on beer. Kate's boss, Mrs. Thistletwat, assigns Kate to teach the next morning's kindergarten class, her first solo teaching opportunity. She decides her lesson will be the Internet, and all its educational attributes, but Trekkie Monster explains another reality of adulthood: lots of adults (men, anyway) use it for pornography. The Internet is for Porn
Princeton gives Kate a mixtape. His song selections are puzzling, making her wonder what message he is trying to send, but eventually she decides that he must like her Mixtape. Sure enough, he invites her on a date to the Around the Clock Café. Brian, the café's MC, does his raunchy standup act I'm Not Wearing Underwear Today, then introduces Lucy the Slut, a skanky chanteuse who wows the guys, especially Princeton, with a seductive cabaret number Special. The Bad Idea Bears suggest that Kate and Princeton order some "harmless" Long Island Iced Teas, and, once Kate is totally inebriated, that Princeton take her home to bed.
Kate and Princeton have enthusiastic, high-decibel sex. Gary fields angry calls from other tenants but refuses to intercede. You Can Be as Loud as the Hell You Want When You're Makin' Love Meanwhile, Rod hears Nicky say, "I love you, Rod," in his sleep, and is jubilant, but eventually realizes it was he who was dreaming. Kate and Princeton profess their mutual love, and Princeton gives Kate his lucky penny. Fantasies Come True
The next morning, a hung-over Kate misses her teaching assignment. Mrs. Thistletwat berates her, and Kate angrily quits her job before she can be fired. Christmas Eve decides unilaterally that it is time she and Brian were married. At the wedding, Nicky blurts out his suspicion that Rod is gay. Rod, furious, insists he has a girlfriend named Alberta in Vancouver My Girlfriend Who Lives in Canada and tells Nicky he is no longer welcome in their apartment.
When Kate catches Christmas Eve's wedding bouquet, Princeton confesses a fear of commitment and asks Kate if they can just be friends. Kate retorts that she has plenty of friends, and breaks off their relationship. There's a Fine, Fine Line
Acte II
A despondent Princeton has been holed up in his apartment after breaking up with Kate, but is coaxed out by the neighbors. There is Life Outside Your Apartment Lucy is looking for a place to crash and seduces the rebounding Princeton. Kate is angry, but Christmas Eve explains that her anger means she loves Princeton. The More You Ruv Someone Kate writes a note to Princeton suggesting that they rendezvous at the Empire State Building, and leaves it with Lucy, who promptly destroys it.
A homeless Nicky laments his fate to Gary, who confesses that he is deriving pleasure from Nicky's misfortune Schadenfreude.
On the Empire State Building's viewing platform, Kate, thinking that Princeton has stood her up, throws his lucky penny away. A hundred stories below, Lucy, walking by on 5th Avenue, is knocked unconscious by the penny.
Kate and Princeton unsuccessfully attempt to work out their problems over Lucy's comatose body. Rod is too proud to accept Nicky's repeated apologies, despite clearly missing him, and tearfully consults with Christmas Eve. Princeton, Kate, and Nicky dream of returning to happier times I Wish I Could Go Back to College.
Princeton gives a still-homeless, panhandling Nicky a quarter, and marvels at how fantastic he feels. Since thinking only about himself has gotten him nowhere, he decides to raise money to build Kate's Monstersori School. He solicits everyone, even breaking the fourth wall to shake down the audience, The Money Song with disappointing results; but Trekkie Monster, recalling his own traumatic school experience, donates ten million dollars, explaining to the astonished cast, "In volatile market, only stable investment is porn!" School for Monsters/The Money Song (Reprise)
Kate joyfully opens her new school. Brian lands a consulting job and Christmas Eve finally has a paying client (Rod), so the newlyweds move to a better neighborhood. Rod finally comes out, to no one's particular surprise, and takes Nicky back in. Nicky finds Rod a boyfriend, Ricky, a muscle-bound hunk who looks and sounds exactly like Nicky. The Bad Idea Bears discover Scientology. Lucy, recovered from her head injury, becomes a born-again Christian and takes a vow of chastity. Kate and Princeton agree to give their relationship another go There's a Fine, Fine Line (Reprise).
A new college graduate inquires about the vacancy in the building, What Do You Do with a BA in English (Reprise) and Princeton has an epiphany: maybe his purpose is to pass on everything he has learned about real life in a Broadway musical. Everybody, especially the new guy, immediately ridicules him. The cast reminds Princeton that in the real world many people never find their purpose; but life goes on, and everything, both good and bad, is "only for now." For Now